Vampire Leopard Curse, or Just Ogledink Co-inky Dink?

Hans Ogledink, a Swedish archeologist working in Ethiopia, who spent 27 years dodging bandit lords, civil war, starving refugees, malaria, tse tse flies, and lack of funding, died today, just hours after he discovered a heretofore undisturbed tomb in a remote section of northern Ethiopia.

Ogledink's death is being ruled an accident after his dig tent was inexplicably struck by a gigantic chunk of frozen excrement from a passing airplane in the middle of the night. The Swedish researcher's tragic death, just 24 hours after opening a tomb that features a prominent life-sized hand-painted image of the savage, mysterious Vampire Leopard, is raising new questions and fears about the notorious Vampire Leopard Curse. Supersititous local workers are refusing to continue, and have temporarily covered the centuries-old tomb painting with a beach towel celebrating the Chicago Bull's 1996 NBA championship.

Ogledink, asked just yesterday by a visiting reporter from Der Spiegel about the discovery and its ramifications, had poo-pooed the curse, calling it "stupid", "infantile", and "not worthy of serious discussion". "There will be no curse," he went on. "Our workers wear masks and will not succumb to mysterious illnesses like in the past. The Vampire Leopard is just an animal, like any other. I will prove it. When this dig is completed, I will eat a giant Vampire Leopard steak dinner and wear a Vampire Leopard fur coat for a year, no matter what the weather."

Curse or not, he'll never have the chance. In honor of this sad, mysterious event, I've composed a simple haiku:

Anicent curse of gloom
Vampire Leopard eats the dead
and haunts the living

Pointy Faced Goiter Dog in the News

A Mongolian Pointy Faced Goiter Dog was found wandering the streets of St. Cloud, Minnesota yesterday. A retired truck driver, James Gopher, was arrested on both illegal smuggling charges, as well as a variety of charges related to endangering the community. Gopher, 57, apparently hatched a scheme to illegally import Goiter Dogs after reading about both their rarity and how they have traditionally been kept as pets. Where did he read about it? Why, in a post right here on The Unbelievably Strange Wildlife Garden!

Gopher's elaborate smuggling scheme involved tramp freighters to a northern Canadian port, then chartered trucks to Winnipeg, then rental trucks to St. Cloud. Gopher was literally in the process of counting money from an illegal sale when he was savagely mauled by an escaped Goiter Dog that had used its razor sharp teeth to gnaw through the metal doors of its cage. The animal then went on a Mongolian-style rampage through the peaceful streets of St. Cloud, gobbling up dogs and cats, alarming a mailman into a fatal heart attack, and then rabidly attacking a Halloween display at a children's clothing store. Gopher is in stable condition at St. Cloud hospital awaiting arraignment.

In honor of this news story, I have composed a haiku!

Tiny sharp teeth, but
The Pointy Faced Goiter Dog
Mongolian's friend.

Hump Backed Arctic Snake Dog Day

Today is Hump Backed Arctic Snake Dog Day in the Scandinavian countries of Norway, Sweden, and Finland. The savage, mythic creature, once worshipped by the likes or Eric the Red, has been on the endangered species list since the 1980's. It lives primarily in protected coastal areas along the northern coast of all three countries, although predominantly on the Atlantic coast of Norway. There are tons of Snake Dog related activities today, including a "Zombie Hump Backed Pub Crawl" through the Oslo arts district, protests in front of government offices, Snake Dog related exhibits at a number of Museums, and a Snake Dog Walkathon to raise money for habitat restoration. Theatres across Norway will also be supporting the day through staged readings of Ibsen's play, The Wild Hump of Peer Silver, which uses the Snake Dog as a symbol for unrequited love, that will featuring a rotating panel of celebrities. If you happen to find yourself in Scandinavia, check it out.

In honor of this noble creature, once worshipped as a God, I have penned a haiku:

Neither dog nor snake
The Arctic Hump Backed Snake Dog
Oostervoort goovort!

Random Flying Squid Haiku

A dedicated research team that is in Bolivia studying the mating habits of the notorious Flying Squid are reporting that the Squid's once-per-decade mating ritual, known as "The Flying Squadron", will be taking place in the coming year! A Brazilian research team working in Bolivia has discovered that the Squid emits a rare pheromone a few months before the Ritual, which involves literally every Flying Squid on Earth circumnavigating the Andes mountain range for no apparent reason.

In honor of this momentous event, I have penned a haiku!

Journey of love for
Bolivian national dish
Good luck Flying Squid!

Daily Haiku

The Boggle Sniffer
Oh, the scent makes me crazy!
Desperate pathos!

Daily Haiku

Pentagon Fish

Geometric Doom!
Sad face in sea blue water
Look out! Disaster!